I used to wonder why people would scatter from the coffee pot when I came in to get coffee. In fact it got to where it was consistent and my feelings were getting really hurt. Why didn’t this group of ladies want to engage in a conversation with me? One day the look of insecurity and frustration was all over my face and the woman who worked the register saw it. Choking back tears I tried to put the lid on my coffee and get swiftly back to my desk before anyone saw my eyes welling with tears. As I turned to walk out the woman behind the register said, “Honey, you know why they leave when you walk in the door?” To my surprise and affirmation, someone else noticed what was happening, I replied, “No, I have no idea. I’m not sure what I have done for them to avoid engaging in conversation with me.” Looking at her with anticipation she replied, “Honey, they are gossiping. They do it every time they come in to get coffee.” “You are a light that exposes the darkness and when you walk in the darkness flees.” “They are not gossiping about you, but you silence it because you simply refuse to engage in it.”
I learned a very valuable lesson that day. I too have been guilty of allowing gossip to suck me into a conversation about another human being without their presence. The residue of that conversation always leaves me feeling regretful. Why? Because the Holy Spirit convicts us of behavior that is harmful to self or another human being. Gossip and slander are abusive and reckless with one intent – to lift oneself up and bury another human being. I used to have small groups of pre-teen girls ask me to define gossip and slander. I would tell them, “Any conversation that involves or is about another human being and the details of their life who is not present for the discussion is gossip.” The majority of the time their reply was, “My mom and her friends do that all the time.”
Discipline. It takes discipline to tame our tongue. It takes discipline when to discern if a conversation is life-giving or robbing the integrity of another human being. It takes discipline to walk away and silence the gossip. It takes discipline and courage to approach a human being in love versus discussing them in the shadows. It takes discipline to have the strength to know the difference. The light of Christ has the ability to overcome the darkness and silence the voice of gossip and speak the very voice of encouragement into another human being. May we be courageous and disciplined enough to speak words of love and encourage one another to walk away from conversations that yield rotten fruit. #discipline #speaklife #encourageoneanother
“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” James 1:26
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29